A Zen Story: How to Find Peace When Words Wound You

A young student approaches a Zen master—eager, curious. He bows profoundly: "Master, I am troubled. I keep thinking about a hurtful thing someone said to me. How can I find peace?" 

At this, the master acted to type; he just motioned the student to sit down and said at last: "If someone shot you with an arrow but missed, would you still feel hurt?"

Reflecting for a moment, the student answers, "No, master. If the arrow missed, I wouldn't be injured."

The master smiles kindly. "So too with hurtful words. Words are like arrows. If you don't take them into yourself, they cannot hurt you."

But the student is not yet content. "But master, what if the person keeps shooting arrows? What if the insults keep coming?"

The master's eyes sparkle; he takes a second arrow and then delivers it to the student. "What do you do if you already have an arrow when a second one is shot at you?"

The student looked at the arrow in his hand, then up at the master. "But in that case, there would have been no place where the second arrow could stick," he said.

The master nods. "That is the key. When your mind is already filled with peace, with mindfulness, there is no room for negativity to take hold. Cultivate a calm mind, and the arrows of anger and resentment will simply fall away."

The Lesson: It teaches the force behind not reacting to negativity. Just as an arrow that misses its target does no harm, so do hurtful words unless we allow them to capture our attention. By training our conscious state of being into a peaceful and mindfulness one, we can deflect any negativity that comes our way.

Using the Lesson in Real Life: Here are a few ways in which you can apply this lesson in your day to day life:

1.  Practice mindfulness meditation: Meditation helps to train one's mind to focus on the present moment and let go of distracting thoughts.

2.  Choose your battles wisely: Not everything is worth a reaction. Sometimes, the best response is silence and a calm disengagement. It's a matter of focus. Put yourself with positive people and in positive activities that uplift your spirit.

3.  Respond with kindness: Respond with compassion and caring even when your "antagonist" is not. This will disarm the other person and allow a more peaceful interaction. Remember, it is a journey toward finding that peace. By being mindful and not reacting to negatives, you will build inner peace that can benefit you in all parts of life.